Spouses Anonymous (SpA) is a virtual support space for spouses living together where one spouse is an addict and the other is not. One spouse exhibits addictive behavior; the other spouse covers it up. One spouse causes chaos; the other spouse picks up the pieces. This blog is for spouses, partners, significant others, or anyone.
Why stay together? Some reasons are religious, financial, love, minor children, promises to change, lack of family support, or no place to go. The mental and emotional drain is ongoing, morning, noon, and night. Focusing on the addicted spouse/partner and managing an unmanageable relationship can be just as crippling as addiction.
I am not a doctor, counselor, psychologist, or expert. SpA is not a professional blog. SpA is a personal blog sharing what I did and how I coped during the marriage. I am not a minister, pastor, or member of the clergy. SpA is not a religious blog but has a spiritual aroma. As a spouse, I have experienced the ravages of living with an addict. I am not perfect. At times I am a walking contradiction, a mess, messy and messed up. I take one step forward, fall into the same traps and take three steps back. I’m a work in progress; my healing will not come overnight.
SpA is not a 12-step program with dos and don’ts, philosophies, or rituals. It doesn’t matter what the addiction is. There are many different Anonymous-based programs, and despite similarities, SpA is not patterned after any particular one. The similarities are Anonymity and the Serenity Prayer. We are all anonymous.
Weekly posts tell my story and subsequent stories about how addiction affected the relationship between my spouse and me and our family over the years, and how I dealt with it.