I Thought I Was Getting Better
My youngest is back on track and lines of communication are open between my spouse and me. I continued my self-care and I thought I was getting better. But like whack-a-mole, more issues popped up, one by one. I recognized my unhealthy behavior in my marriage but...
Talking Honestly
After my child confessed his problems, I picked up the phone to call my spouse. I collected myself before clicking his name in my contact list. I mentally reviewed the do’s and don’ts of talking: open, honest, assertive, pleasant tone, and listening with no judgment,...
Reality Setting In
It has been months since I moved out. Good and bad reality is setting in. It hasn’t been easy, I still have a long way to go, but the labor pains have been worth it, and my reality is good. I love living on my own, in peace. It seems like I am happy all the time or it...
On My Own
My beds and desk have arrived. I make my bed and flop on it like a kid. I do not know if it is a flash or for real, but right now I feel happy. I set my telework equipment up and arranged my desk. I am back at work. My apartment is completely furnished. My paid-off...
My Apartment
We unloaded and returned the U-Haul on time. Back at the apartment, I surveyed a maze of marked boxes and an ungodly amount of work yet to be done. My mood swung from one extreme to the other. I marveled at the first sunset at my new apartment but grieved the last...
The Last Straw Part II
My spouse tried to smooth over his abusive behavior with his usual tactics. I listened and looked him in the eye while he played the victim and blamed me. He finished, and I told him: this is the last straw; I’m leaving and filing for divorce. I saw the muscles in his...
The Last Straw Part I
I took the day off from work for no reason other than I wanted to. My spouse worked in the field, and I was sipping coffee and watching a movie in my recliner. We were in truce mode, and my spirits were good. I planned an afternoon of taking a walk and browsing the...
Just Leave
Even though I continue to build my savings account, my spouse is better off financially, and I asked him to leave, but enraged, he told me: this is my house! We didn’t revisit our tabled conversation about rekindling our marriage; we continued the cycle of truce, hot...
Empty Nest
The youngest went to prom, graduated high school, worked a summer job, and is college-bound: all finalized. Thank God. My babies are spreading their wings. I am amazed at how fast time flies, and looking back, I’m surprised how we persevered through all the drama,...
Getting My Finances Together
My financial anxiety came monthly, like the bills. The uncertainty of getting my spouse’s share made me grovel and flatter him, hoping his portion would be exact and timely. The imbalance in our financial responsibilities caused me to overspend unintentionally....