On The Move Again
I will be taking a little time off from the blog because I am on the move again, mentally, physically, and emotionally. My youngest is close to graduating college and retirement is on the horizon. I need to find a new place to live and I’m weighing options whether to...
Being My Own Person
I was the opposite of being my own person. I wasn’t in control of my life; I allowed others to influence me, and I was dependent on others emotionally. I was over-helping, over-compensating, over-advising, over-focusing on others, over-ignoring my needs, over-taking...
Gratitude
I am grateful. Being grateful and thankful are similar in meaning and interchangeable expressions. To me, being thankful can be more in the moment or temporary when something good happens to me or for me, like receiving a gift or helping me out. You did something nice...
Post-Divorce
When I separated from my spouse, I was physically removed from the toxicity and instantly felt free. I was off the drug of keeping the focus on my spouse while trying to change and bend him to my will. But I was still hooked on the marriage and shackled to my spouse...
Divorced
I decided to move on. I knew he would never make the first move, so I invited my spouse to my apartment for coffee and told him my intentions to divorce him. To my surprise, he accepted my decision but disagreed with it. My spouse lived at the house, and I took...
Let’s Be Friends
After the new year, my spouse called and we compared notes: he shared his loneliness and post-separation setbacks, and I expressed my struggles, not about past hurts, but past happiness. We have loneliness in common and longing for past happiness and companionship...
Struggling
When my spouse and I split, he told me never to ask him for a dime; I haven’t, he stayed true to himself and never offered me a penny. Before I left my spouse, I did a lot and now that I’m on my own, I do it all. Freedom is expensive, and I find myself struggling...
I Thought I Was Getting Better
My youngest is back on track and lines of communication are open between my spouse and me. I continued my self-care and I thought I was getting better. But like whack-a-mole, more issues popped up, one by one. I recognized my unhealthy behavior in my marriage but...
Talking Honestly
After my child confessed his problems, I picked up the phone to call my spouse. I collected myself before clicking his name in my contact list. I mentally reviewed the do’s and don’ts of talking: open, honest, assertive, pleasant tone, and listening with no judgment,...
Reality Setting In
It has been months since I moved out. Good and bad reality is setting in. It hasn’t been easy, I still have a long way to go, but the labor pains have been worth it, and my reality is good. I love living on my own, in peace. It seems like I am happy all the time or it...