Games, Manipulations and Control
My spouse withheld the grocery money I was promised the day before, and I got paid the following week. I stood in the kitchen, purse in hand, asking for money, and my spouse cut me off, double-talking and lying about not having money until two days later. The ugly...
Truce
After the chaos and a week of not speaking, my spouse called me at work; it could have been about the children, so I answered. I accepted his apology so we could move on, but before I knew it, I apologized too, even though I was innocent. When I hung up, I felt...
What About the Children? Part II
The explosion exploded, and the children witnessed the battle, so how do we go forward navigating the land mines. The aftermath of a fight can be just as bad: silence, slamming doors, snide remarks, tension, MIA father. I am on guard duty in my own home, trying to...
What About the Children? Part I
Being in a marriage with an addict feels like a war sometimes. The kids are collateral damage, the home becomes a battlefield, and the bedrooms become trenches. The children retreated in shock and silence the first time they saw a full-blown explosion of rage between...
Lies, Lies, Lies
Lying: making false statements on purpose. Lying includes deception, gaslighting, manipulation, evasion, forgery, stonewalling, fraud, and fabrication. All people lie, whether you’re an addict or not, good or bad. Lying is a symptom of addiction. Addicts lie to cover...
My Story
My spouse and I grew up in the same small, suffocating town. We both grew up in families with dysfunctions that were never discussed until decades later. My dad was a recovering alcoholic & womanizer, and my mother endured. My spouse’s father was an authoritarian...