Post-Divorce
When I separated from my spouse, I was physically removed from the toxicity and instantly felt free. I was off the drug of keeping the focus on my spouse while trying to change and bend him to my will. But I was still hooked on the marriage and shackled to my spouse...
Divorced
I decided to move on. I knew he would never make the first move, so I invited my spouse to my apartment for coffee and told him my intentions to divorce him. To my surprise, he accepted my decision but disagreed with it. My spouse lived at the house, and I took...
Let’s Be Friends
After the new year, my spouse called and we compared notes: he shared his loneliness and post-separation setbacks, and I expressed my struggles, not about past hurts, but past happiness. We have loneliness in common and longing for past happiness and companionship...
Struggling
When my spouse and I split, he told me never to ask him for a dime; I haven’t, he stayed true to himself and never offered me a penny. Before I left my spouse, I did a lot and now that I’m on my own, I do it all. Freedom is expensive, and I find myself struggling...
I Thought I Was Getting Better
My youngest is back on track and lines of communication are open between my spouse and me. I continued my self-care and I thought I was getting better. But like whack-a-mole, more issues popped up, one by one. I recognized my unhealthy behavior in my marriage but...
Talking Honestly
After my child confessed his problems, I picked up the phone to call my spouse. I collected myself before clicking his name in my contact list. I mentally reviewed the do’s and don’ts of talking: open, honest, assertive, pleasant tone, and listening with no judgment,...
Reality Setting In
It has been months since I moved out. Good and bad reality is setting in. It hasn’t been easy, I still have a long way to go, but the labor pains have been worth it, and my reality is good. I love living on my own, in peace. It seems like I am happy all the time or it...
On My Own
My beds and desk have arrived. I make my bed and flop on it like a kid. I do not know if it is a flash or for real, but right now I feel happy. I set my telework equipment up and arranged my desk. I am back at work. My apartment is completely furnished. My paid-off...
My Apartment
We unloaded and returned the U-Haul on time. Back at the apartment, I surveyed a maze of marked boxes and an ungodly amount of work yet to be done. My mood swung from one extreme to the other. I marveled at the first sunset at my new apartment but grieved the last...
The Last Straw Part II
My spouse tried to smooth over his abusive behavior with his usual tactics. I listened and looked him in the eye while he played the victim and blamed me. He finished, and I told him: this is the last straw; I’m leaving and filing for divorce. I saw the muscles in his...